Me and White Supremacy - Day 1

Resource: Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor by Layla F. Saad

I recently started using the app Libby (it’s great!) and have been delighted to be able to check books out online (although I still prefer tangible books). One of the books I checked out this weekend was Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor by Layla F. Saad. Although I recognized this book from its cover, it wasn’t one that was on a reading list of mine - it was on the front page and available, so I check it out. I wasn’t sure what this book would be like, but as it turns out, it is part primer, part workbook and aimed at personal/individual reflection on how white supremacy turns up in your life and what to do about it. It started out as a 28 day Instagram challenge for reflection, and so there are 28 chapters/topics/exercises/reflections. I only have the book for 21 days, and I don’t anticipate doing more than one a day (and I imagine it will take me a lot longer to get through than a month), so this might take a lot longer if I have to return it then put it on hold to access it again (although already I think this is book I'm going to buy). It seems like the first few chapters are topics that I have been thinking and reflecting on lately, but I’m still going to write reflections about them because there is always more to unpack. One quote that jumped out at me in the introduction was, “If you are willing to dare to look white supremacy right in the eye and see yourself reflected back, you are going to become better equipped to dismantle it within yourself and within your communities.” How white supremacy presents itself in structures/systems/institutions is something I am just starting to learn about, and I know that in order to dismantle these systems, I need to know exactly what they are.

Saad first introduces white supremacy, and while it is a word that has been circulating around lately, it’s certainly not a new concept. As Saad explains, “White supremacy is a racist ideology that is based upon the belief that white people are superior in many ways to people of other races and that therefore, white people should be dominant over other races.” While it refers to the attitude and beliefs of individuals, it also refers to a paradigm that is upheld by systems and institutions in more insidious and hidden ways than far-right extremists or fringe groups being vocal about it. “In white-centered societies and communities, it is the dominant paradigm that forms the foundation from which norms, rules, and laws are created.”

Week 1 is labeled as “The Basics” and Day 1 is titled “You and White Privilege.” White privilege is unearned advantages that are granted because of one’s whiteness. Race itself is not a biological fact (there is only one human race), but a social concept. Nevertheless, the negative impacts of the social construct of race on Black, Indigneous, People of Color (BIPOC) are very real. I think a quote that sums white privilege up well is “Were you ever told as a child that your whiteness would work against you? That you would have to compensate for your racial difference? Or was the color of your skin something that was not even discussed because it had nothing to do with what you would be able to accomplish or how you would be treated by the world? That is the essence of white privilege.” I certainly have benefited from white privilege, although this is something I did not realize until relatively recently. It’s that invisible knapsack that Peggy McIntosh talks about. I reflected on her piece White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack not too long ago (insert link), and Layla Saad also provided these questions which I reflected on below: In what ways have you wielded your white privilege over BIPOC that have done harm (whether or not you intended to do so)? What have you learned about white privilege that makes you uncomfortable?

I think that by not being aware of my white privilege for most of my life has probably harmed BIPOC in many ways that I don’t even know, but I think that the area that I am most uncomfortable in knowing that I wielded my white privilege to the detriment of BIPOC is in my own education and when teaching my students.

For my entire life, I felt like I was designed for school, but I didn’t realize until recently that schooling was designed for people like me - a white, middle-class, shy/compliant student. Growing up, I loved school - the consistency and order of it, sitting in rows and being able to do my own work, feeling supported by my teachers (who consequently looked like me). There was never any doubt that I would go to college, and even if I had not been awarded scholarships to attend undergrad, I think my parents would have been able to find a way to help me pay for it. I thought that my success in school was from primarily working hard (I know there are tons of people who are way smarter than me, and I pride myself on my work ethic), but in learning about my whiteness, I realize that a lot of my success, while certainly bolstered by my work ethic, came easier to me due to the color of my skin. My culture was valued in school, most of my teachers looked like me, and I also had the privilege to focus only on school (my parents always told me that school was my job). In fact, there was never a time in school (primary/secondary) where I even had to think about the color of my skin and how it impacted me. Now, with training as an educator and learning about experiences of BIPOC, I know that the comfort and ease I felt in school was at the expense of others who did not find school environments welcoming, inclusive, or supportive of their learning, culture, or who recognized their entire humanity. Also while it was not something I understood at the time, the tracking that happened in middle and high school in particular which placed me in advanced classes (primarily white students if I’m remembering correctly) where I felt relatively challenged in my learning harmed students who were placed in “regular” or remedial classes, I’m sure many of whom were placed at a disadvantage in not being held to high expectations among other things. Even though my path in school was not something determined by me, I certainly benefited from it, and I’m embarrassed that it took me so long to realize that it was not by my merit alone.

The most uncomfortable I feel about my white privilege though is how it manifests when I teach my students. As an educator, I feel a responsibility to take care of all of my students, no matter how short of a time I am with them (usually at most, a week). I want not only to facilitate their learning, but to model for them what it is to be a good human, and until recently, being a good human did not correspond to being explicitly anti-racist (as in making it clear to my students that I am actively working on being anti-racist - Is that important to disclose to students you’ll only see for 4 days? Do you only bring it up in your actions or through vocalizing it as well?). I approached teaching by trying to treat all of my students with respect and kindness, by building relationships with them, and by trying to give everyone voice and choice in their learning. I try to create a group culture among my students within a short time, and even though I try to incorporate my students’ ideas, I wonder how much of white supremacist culture I incorporate into my groups. One example that I have been thinking of is how I prefer complete silence from my students when I am giving directions. I strive to provide learning opportunities where students are able to learn from experiences in collaboration rather than listening to me talk, and when I do speak in front of a group, I expect everyone to be listening and paying attention to me. I have been thinking about recently if this is a basic form of respect that I should hold my students to or a product of dominant culture that I am unintentionally pushing on my students. I’m still not sure. I also think about how low my own emotional-literacy is, and I think my ability to help students explore and manage their emotions is lacking. The thought, though, of pushing white supremacist culture onto my students unconsciously is uncomfortable and horrifying, especially when my intent is good - in fact I think that makes it even worse.

I grew up being taught to be kind to everyone, and while I think that is incredibly important, I also think that only teaching kids that kindness is enough is a mindset that allows white supremacy to flourish under the guise that white folks are doing enough by being nice. It is not enough to be kind or to condemn racism. I do a disservice to my BIPOC students when I do not work to challenge my own white privileges or those of my white students which is what I hope to do in working through this book.