Me and White Supremacy - Day 15: White Apathy

Resource: Me and White Supremacy by Layla F. Saad

Since I am borrowing this book from the library and it is due today, this will be my last reflection from this book for a while (at least until I can borrow it again). I think this was one of those books that was sold out everywhere, so I’m going to rely on the library for now, but I think it will be one that I end up adding to my personal library (something I don’t say lightly because I rarely buy books for myself).

Week 3 in this book focuses on allyship. The definition used is by PeerNetBC who said that allyship is “an active, consistent, and challenging practice of unlearning and reevaluating, in which a person of privilege seeks to work in solidarity with a marginalized group. Allyship is not an identity - it is a lifelong process of building relationships based on trust, consistency, and accountability with marginalized individuals and/or groups. Allyship is not self-defined - our work and our efforts must be recognized by the people we seek to ally ourselves with.” I think the most important thing about this is that as an ally you cannot judge what allyship consists of because it could actually be white centering, tokenism, white saviorism, or optical allyship - you need to default to BIPOC and listen to what they need to be supported.

The topic for today was “white apathy” which refers to the lack of feeling, emotion, interest or concern about issues of race/white supremacy. It is a self-preservation response that protects people with white privilege from having to face the role we play in upholding white supremacy. White apathy tries to reinforce the idea that white supremacy is a problem inherent to BIPOC and not one created and maintained by people with white privilege.

White apathy shows up in:

• Using excuse of laziness, tiredness, fear, boredom, numbness, or perfectionism when engaging in antiracism practice

• Doing very little antiracism work

• Not acting because of your attachment to the idea of being a “good white person”

• Using high sensitivity, high introversion, or mental health and personal issues to opt out of doing antiracism work

• Not taking responsibility for your own antiracism education

• Overcomplicating what it takes to practice antiracism and making excuses (or becoming overwhelmed by all the work that needs to be done and doing nothing)

• Minimizing the impacts of racism “it’s not that bad”

• Being outspoken on issues not related to racism, but silent on issues that affect BIPOC

• Using perfectionism to avoid doing work

• Using the excuse that because you did not create white supremacy, it is not your job to work on dismantling it

• Using the excuse that because the process of dismantling white supremacy is so overwhelming, with many parts out of your individual control, there is no point in even trying because it will not make a big enough difference anyway

• “It’s really sad that this is happening, but it’s not my problem.”

One thing that Saad wrote that was very powerful was: “There is no personal gain for people with white privilege to do this work and a lot to lose in terms of privilege and power.” The pull of white apathy and comfort and ignoring the problems of those with less privilege is very powerful, and working to be anti-racists means ignoring the comfort that white apathy offers and digging in to learn about these systems and work against them.

Reflection: In what ways have you been apathetic when it comes to racism? In what ways have you observed people who hold white privilege in your communities being apathetic when it comes to racism?

I would say that although I have been doing anti-racist work in my professional life for the past few years, I think outsides of the school environment I have been pretty apathetic about racism. Definitely before I started City Year, I was just ignorant, but in the few years after City Year, I think I would say that I was selective in the anti-racist work I did, and did not do much on my own outside of what I was doing for work. George Floyd’s murder was a wake-up call for me, and I think because all of a sudden there were so many white people in my life who were talking about it that it felt wrong to not think about it or say something about it (and it’s kind of embarrassing to have needed that push from other white people rather than listening to BIPOC all along). I could have easily ridden the wave of social media and optical allyship, but it really was an event that forced me to open my eyes and understand what anti-racist work really looks like and how I should be doing it in all areas of my life. I thought that I was doing the work before, but I realize now I wasn’t even close to doing it. And I also realize now, it’s not about just learning things, but it is a practice. Working on being anti-racist can be hard and uncomfortable and you probably won’t get it right all of the time, but I think that the more you think about it, learn, and practice, the better you become. This blog has definitely helped hold me accountable and has made me take responsibility for my own learning.

In my communities, I have seen a lot of white apathy when it comes to racism. Claims that systemic/institutional racism does not exist (which, what do you do in that situation?), that Black people are “playing the race card,” and that it’s not our problem (as white people) to solve. It’s pretty disheartening, especially to hear from people I care about. I don’t quite know how to talk to these people in a way in which they won’t just dismiss what I tell them about racism/white supremacy. I feel like it’s my responsibility to not only practice anti-racist work but to bring others with me. It’s easier when people are willing to listen (even if they hold different worldviews), but it’s incredibly draining to try to have the conversations with people who hold so tight to their worldviews that they don’t even try to understand. I wonder how much I need to be listening more to these people to see where they are coming from, and also how much I need to be actively challenging their opinions (like I will challenge when they bring up something that I disagree with, but should I be initiating those conversations?) These are things that I’ve been thinking about, and I don’t have a resolution yet. I’m sure there will be more posts on this topic in the future.