Me and White Supremacy - Day 26/27: Your Values and Losing Privilege

Resource: Me and White Supremacy by Layla F. Saad

Your Values

Our values are often a mix of guiding principles we have adopted through conditioning and those we have chosen for ourselves. Being conditioned in system of white supremacy means having subconscious values that are white supremacist in nature, which can clash with other consciously chosen values you have

Reflection: To what extent have your values helped your ability to practice anti-racism? What new core values and beliefs do you feel you need to integrate after doing this work in order to better practice lifelong anti-racism?

These are the things that I value that help me practice anti-racism:

• Being a life-long learner

• Changing and growing

• Honoring everyone’s humanity

• Collectivism

• Gratitude

• Responsibility for one’s actions/impact

• Diversity as strength

• Inclusion/Belonging

• Relationships and Community

• Resilience

• Consistency

• Commitment

I think there are probably more things that I value that influence me in this work, but these are the ones that influence me the most. Not only do they give me a “why” for practicing anti-racism (like honoring everyone’s humanity, and diversity as strength), but they influence “how” I go about doing the work (consistent, committed, in community). I would say that the majority of these values are ones that I learned to value in my adult life, and in large part through my journey as an educator, which has certainly shifted the lens with which I look at the world.

One thing that I value which hinders me in anti-racism work is peace/non-conflict. Conflict of any kind is really uncomfortable for me (I guess I’m thinking mostly of emotionally-charged conflict), and I’m doing my best to recognize that and lean into it more, especially in this work (but also in general). I also think I need to add “justice” to my list of core values. The quote at the start of this section was by Cornel West: “Never forget that justice is what love looks like in public.” A lot of this work that I have done has been more private than public, and I think I have the most influence in the workplace. As I am getting ready to start a new job in a new organization (TBD, but I’ll get there eventually), I know that I need to bring justice into what I am doing - any work I do will be around the environment/conservation, and we cannot teach about the environment without incorporating justice.

Losing Privilege

In order for things to change for BIPOC, people with white privilege need to give up some of their privileges

Being willing to lose privilege looks like:

• Taking responsibility for your one anti-racist education (and not expecting BIPOC to do the work for you)

• Talking to friends/family members who have white privilege about practicing anti-racism

• Having racial conversations with other white people

• Donating money to movements/causes/organizations working towards liberation and dignity for BIPOC

• Supporting (financially) BIPOC businesses

• Amplifying BIPOC voices

• Showing up at protests/marches for BIPOC

• Calling out/in leaders, organizations, and institutions that are discriminating against and doing harm to BIPOC

• Continuing to show up, even when called out, feeling discomfort or fatigue, or not rewarded for it

• Taking up less space and allowing BIPOC more space so they can be heard and their leadership can be followed

• Risking relationships and comfort by speaking up instead of staying silent

Reflection: In what ways will your privilege need to change in order for you to consistently practice anti-racism? What risks must you be willing to take? What comforts must you be willing to lose? How will you lose privilege and safety in your friendships, work spaces, businesses, families, spiritual communities, and other white-centered spaces?

I think the biggest privilege I need to lose is the privilege of being comfortable by avoiding conflict. My whole life I have avoided conflict and deep emotions, and I have been recognizing that trying to lean in more. I don’t really know how that started for me, but it is something I’ve unconsciously carried into adult life, and never really questioned until recently. Working on myself becoming anti-racist isn’t inhibited for me by my emotions, but by bringing other people into it. I’m not deterred by being wrong or called out by BIPOC or other white folks regarding my behaviors, but I am stuck on helping other people be anti-racist (who are resistant to it). It means challenging my relationships with people which is hard. I’m not very good at it - I’m thinking about with my family in particular. I know that as I move into a new community (wherever I end up with a job), I need to be having these conversations with people, and starting these conversations.

I saw this quote by bell hooks the other day, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot: “For me, forgiveness and compassion are always linked: how do we hold people accountable for wrongdoing and yet at the same time remain in touch with their humanity to believe in their capacity to be transformed?” I’ve been struggling to be in touch with peoples’ humanity when they have racist practices (knowingly) or refuse to believe that racism exists. When they don’t see the humanity in the people around them, it’s hard for me to see theirs. I suppose that I’m a product of Western culture/white supremacy in that it’s hard for me to recognize sometimes how two seemingly opposing truths can be held simultaneously. That a person can care about the people in their life but not about the most vulnerable in society. That they can have both redeeming qualities and those that dehumanize other people. It’s hard for me to reconcile that, and I think that is one of the biggest barriers to having productive conversations about race or other deep topics with people who don’t take on the perspective of others. I think my next steps need to be spending some time after this book (tomorrow’s the last day) to learn and practice how to manage my emotions and have conversations around controversial topics.